Weight...wait?

Posted by admin Saturday, January 22, 2011 0 komentar

A few people may have noticed when I joined...I do believe that was back in Febuary. And those people may have noticed that I was gone from then then until...well, until today.

I haven't weighed in yet. I know I'm around 254, which is atleast 4 pounds lighter than I thought I was. So, what would make me stop exercising, stop dieting, and start gaining weight? Well, weird things happen.

I only started exercising for a few days a week for a few weeks when my time of month went missing. All tests for diabetes and pregnancy came back negative. I started feeling like I was starving; I know my body pretty well, I have to pay attention to it because of my bipolar disorder. This was not the "Hmm. I am hungry. Time for lunch." This was not, "Oh, I'm bored. I want to eat." This was not, "It's been four hours. If I don't eat some protein soon, I'm going to sabatoge myself." And it was not, "Why me? I can't stand it! I'm going to eat a pan of brownies."

This was, "I haven't eaten for 36 hours and I need food NOW!!!! If anybody or anything gets in my way, I will tear them DOWN." I am very mild, and for such feirce feelings to jump into my head was frighting. Oh, and this feeling of 36 hour fasting? It was only 2 hours between meals. So I'd eat, and 2 hours later, I would need to eat again. Ignoring it didn't make it go away. Eating fish, brown rice, and fruit did not sadate it. When I was in my depressed modes, I would eat grilled cheese sandwiches, cereal, icecream, pies, carbs in general. I didn't like salty things or strong proteins, prefering fish, beans, nuts, and eggs to all other proteins. Now the only things that were satisfying me were potatoe chips (which normally I despise), pizza rolls, Chinese, pork, hamburgers, ect. Not my normal menu.

So I ate what I felt like for a while. About 3 weeks ago, the hunger died. I'm ready to return to my life of olive oil, yogart, whole grain toast, and lots of fruit and veggies. I'm feeling well enough to go back to the gym, one of my favorite places in town. I found a new church, as well. I haven't been in a fellowship since 2006, maybe 2005.

So here we are again. My 3 goals: drink 10 cups of water a day, eat 5 servings of fruits and veggitables, and get out to exercise at least once a day, even if I don't go for more than 5 minutes, at least I'll be building a commitment.