allaboutwomen

Hello, 2011. I've still about 1 hour, 2 minutes to wait. I'm sitting here at my husband's desk, enjoying his full keyboard. That's the ONLY thing I don't like about my laptop. The keyboard is cramped. And if that's my only complaint, then I've probably grabbed an awesome laptop.

Well, 2010, before we part our ways, let us review. I stopped my meds without supervision in January, and learned the hard way NEVER EVER DO THAT. I was "sick" most of Febuary, the result of massive panic attacks. I found a new job in March, that lasted until the first week of April, when my car died. I fluncked all my classes in May, and became a stay-at-home wife.

I packed the rented house in June, and in July, moved into our first buying house. I also got a job at McDonalds, and found that my job skills are worth something.

I walked around town a lot in August, signed up for Curves and injured my knee in September, thus putting a pause on my walking. October was sweltering, and November was freezing. I bought two swim suits sometime during the late summer, one for my "current" figure in the photo, and one for when I'm finished, aproximately. They were both on clearence for 7 dollars, so I spent $14 on two instead of $35 on one.

During this year, I came closer to divorce than I cared to admit, and happily ended up bonded even closer to a man who cares about me. He's not as supportive as I might prefer, but he does what he thinks he should. It's just that guys and girls really do think differently.

I missed my time of month for up to 16 weeks strait, and didn't let it depress me every negative pregnancy test. I went for 6 months at McDonalds with my coworkers wondering what it is about me that permits me to be polite 100% of the time, and never whine to others, though they did admit to hearing me mumble to myself. My managers think I'm an excelent employee, which is a 180 from what I've expericanced at all other jobs.

I found a home church, though I still don't attend often. I've made a few friends. I've proven that I'm very intune with my body and my mind, and know exactly how much is too much, when instead of bending I'm breaking, and I know to stop.

So, 2010, I find from our relationship that I am stronger than previously thought. I found where my heart lay, where my support comes from. I found that I have opinions, and I have insite. I found that I can succeed. I found that I am a better person than I started.

I did not complete all our goals. No, the knee injury did not help me run 5 mph for an hour strait. But I didn't work all that hard before the knee injury. I didn't work out as many minutes as I had planned. I didn't give up fastfood on my workweek, especially when I started working in fastfood.

But I said I'd give up soda, if only to break the habit and addiction. And my husband agreed that was a good idea for him as well. We went carbonation free for 2 months. We drank naturally made sodas (grape, giner ale, root beer) for a couple of months. And after 5 months of NO comercially made sodas, we found that the addiction and habit was infact broken. We didn't reach for soda (or diet soda) anymore. So, we permitted ourselves soda only on our weekends. And we've stuck to that since June.

And I signed up for Sparkpeople. Their advice and tools permit me to make the perfect diet for my personal health. To track every time I do work out, and how hard I actually worked, how much I burned.

And I signed up for Curves. A chance to lose with the guidence of people trained for this healthy lifestyle. They know that I'm not looking for a size 2. When I say, "Firm, strong, sleek" they know what I'm aiming for. And they know how to track it to keep me going.

I'm 24 now. I didn't feel 24. But now, looking at my struggles, and how I did succeed, how I did try, how I'm going to keep going... now, if feel as though I'm old enough to be a little wiser than 23. And I'm young enough to keep pushing, with out limits. But then, I can't imagine being too old to kick my own behind.